I don’t want you to have to scan down the page to find out what the title stands for, so I will just tell you now. Love You Most – I Win! I’ll tell you how that made an impact on me in a minute and why it matters when building strong relationships.
You can learn a lot about someone by attending their funeral. All the things that are said, or not said, leave a clear picture of who they were, what they stood for, and what their legacy will be. I, unfortunately, had an opportunity this past week to attend the funeral of my aunt Jodie (my mom’s younger sister). She was more than my aunt. She was my friend and she died unexpectedly and much too soon.
As I listened to the people that spoke about Jodie before, during and after the service and burial, it became clear to me that she had many, many strong relationships in her life and that her loss is really going to be felt. I also know this because of my own personal experiences with her over the years. We did not live in the same city and would only see each other a couple of times a year during a good year. Nevertheless, whenever we did get together we seemed to just pick up right where we left off the last time we spoke.
Lessons Modeled
As I looked back on my experience with Jodie and thought through the reasons I thought she had so many strong relationships in her life I was able to boil it down to one word – Authenticity. What you saw was what you got. She did not put on appearances for anyone or change her mood or attitude based on the circumstances. She was who she was in the good times and the bad, in the trying times and the easy times, and when things were going her way or when things we not. You did not have to test the water to see which Jodie would show up, it was always just Jodie.
Here are some reasons I think that she modeled authenticity for me and what I would like to emulate in my own life:
- She laughed – with others and at herself. I am a funny guy, but she gave me a run for my money on who could be the funniest. She liked having the last word on things so I often lost. But I really won because she made me laugh!
- She smiled – Her smile defined her. Even when she was mad or upset about something she would find a way to smile and make a joke about it. You knew when you saw her she would burst into that big smile that made life somehow easier.
- She was open – about her struggle and her joy. She by no means had an easy life. There were many struggles and challenges, but she never let a challenge steal her joy. She was open about the struggle and leaned on those strong relationships with those closest to her to get through.
- She expressed love – she never let you leave her presence without expressing her affection for you. Whether by hug or by kiss, or just her words (if she couldn’t get close enough), you knew you were loved.
- She took a risk – proactively going forward to new things and new challenges. When others her age were sitting back and letting life come to them, she was out and about chasing life and looking for her next adventure.
Most impressive to me in a tough situation like this funeral for a dear friend, sister, mother, and grandmother was the way the family spoke of Jodie and her life. If you want to know how good someone is at relationships just look inside their own home. Many of us are good at building relationships with colleagues or a new acquaintance, but the people closest to us can’t stand us. This was not the case with Jodie. Her battle cry with those who loved her was, Love You Most – I Win. It was a competition on who could show the most love and Jodie would not lose. What a great legacy to her children and grandchildren who stood with us on this day each of them calling her name blessed and each of them saying their last goodbye by saying, “Love You Most Jodie – We Won by having known you!”
